Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Panties = found
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