I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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