Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
