I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
