I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
