I can feel you judging me through the phone.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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