easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
my poor anus
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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