apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
organizing the empties. That sober.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
