..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
