I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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