who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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