u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
