Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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