I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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