That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
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If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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