if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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