i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
