i jhust puked up my retainher.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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