that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
