am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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