...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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