I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i think my cat just said my name.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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