drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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