"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
