I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Two words: nipple clamps
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