i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
