You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
