Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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