Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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