how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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