Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Couch. On fire.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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