I am spending my child support on dildos
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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