Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize