if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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