I love having hate sex.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
