I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
