You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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