She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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