oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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