We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
