better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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