8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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