I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
