I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my shit smells like andre
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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