I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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