It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
