The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
