Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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