We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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