people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The air was thick with penises
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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