we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize