you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
