i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
