You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
