Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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