even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
