Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
