I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
