every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
